The Remarkable Failure of Ride to Hell Retribution
I have a piece of advice for you, gamers all over the world. Buy Ride to Hell Retribution. Would you pay $5 for a comedy film? Then pay the same amount of money for this game and laugh. The game is so bad that it will make you laugh unwittingly. The poorly written story is funny, the poorly voice acting is hilarious, the gameplay is so stupidly broken that it’s funny, the glitches are so annoying that they are actually funny, and overall, the game is so boring that it will make you laugh. Not once you will say to yourself “I could’ve created a better game”, but with every in-game gun shot. So when you are extremely bored, Ride to Hell will either make you laugh at its stupidity or it will really take you on a ride to hell. It depends on how much you let it affect you.
Obviously, the game is on the worst games ever list, with exceedingly low scores on all the gaming websites that dared to try it. If the description above wasn’t convincing enough, I will let other games critics say their opinions. Believe me, they are funnier that the game itself. Josh Harmon of EGMNow began his review saying “At least they spelled the title right” commenting “What we get is a linear, insultingly underdeveloped mess with almost none of those features in any recognizable form.”. His entire review is written on a satirical note concluded with “Don’t play Ride to Hell: Retribution. Don’t think about playing it. Don’t think about thinking about playing it. Forget it exists, and continue your life as though it never did.” I dare to contradict him. Play it… and laugh. A lot.
Edd Harwood of gaming.thedigitalfix.com said “Let’s leave it with Jake’s (the potagonist) own words, spoken as if holding up a mirror to his own life: “Swear to god – I’d rather be polishing boots than sit through this crap.” Edd, you should polish your sense of humor because this game was actually created as a joke. What?… It wasn’t? Oh, my bad, I thought… never mind.
The Eutechnyx’s developers and Tom Smetham, the game’s writer are the only ones to be blamed for this disaster. The game was released in June 2013 and it sold 1000 copies.
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